hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
