Please don't use social media to get back at me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize