the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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