Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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