Do you still have your period?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
