Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
