Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
