we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
