Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
