Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
