have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
