I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
