Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
