he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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