Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize