We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
