the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
