Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
