So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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