all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
