areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have grass duct taped all over my body
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
