Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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