i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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