there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
