Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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