Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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