We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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