I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
