Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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