A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
