i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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