There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
