I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
