I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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