if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
