There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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