I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Someone signed my nipple.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
