I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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