So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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