I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
