Whod you bang
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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