No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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