I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
