Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize