i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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