just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
