Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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