A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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