Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
