he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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