Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
