Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
last night I used snow as a chaser
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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