Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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