you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize