i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
