She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
