Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize