hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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